Have you ever had to "eat your words"?
It's a phase that basically means to have to retract, take back possibly humbly, something you've said.
I doubt there's one person who hasn't.
Too often, as a young parent, I remember thinking (or even saying), "My child would never do that!"
Guess what? Some did do the very behavior I derided in someone else's child.
I had to "eat my words" and I've had to go back and apologize far more than I care to realize.
Years ago, when consumed with parenting many young children, my reading consisted of many books on parenting and how to improve. I read of a young mother, overwhelmed with the daily responsibilities of caring for six small children. She sat down wearily on the porch with her mother and cried, "I just have too many children."
Her mother replied, "Maybe you're right. Maybe God will take some away."
Now, the grandmother did not wish ill upon her grandchildren nor her daughter. But, she sagely wanted her daughter to consider the import of her words.
Consider that. What solution do you want for your "problem" about which you're continually complaining?
Mother, when you complain that you can't go to the bathroom alone, consider the mother who just buried her 4-year-old who died from cancer; the one who's grieving her 2-year-old killed by a drunk driver; the mom whose 16-year-old was killed in a car wreck.
There will be a time when you can go to the bathroom alone. There will be a time when the house is quiet and still. Don't lose the joy of today's relationships.
When you see a misbehaving child, do you think or say, "My child will NEVER do that"?
It's relatively easy to criticize, especially if you've never experienced the situation you're judging.
Life's experiences tend to teach us we are all culpable and just as capable as anyone else of failing, making mistakes.
A toddler was being irascible, uncooperative and fighting with an elder sibling who said "Bad baby; bad baby!"
Although the young child was behaving badly, she was usually even tempered and well behaved. The elder sibling was advised to be more careful with her words and to say something about the behavior such as "that's not the way to behave" or "I'm sorry you're upset" instead of labeling the child as bad.
When my children were infants, I remember people often asking whether they were "easy" or "hard" babies. Although I realize they usually were referring to whether they slept well and were pleasant natured, I disliked placing such labels on them as that tends to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
A child who needs more care to be consoled is not necessarily bad or hard, they're just different from the easily pacified child.
Someone once noted that her more strong-willed child actually turned out to have fewer problems in high school than her more placid sibling because she was less likely to follow the crowd.
Each of us -- adult, teen, child, infant -- are unique and different. Let us appreciate our differences, refrain from criticizing and encourage one another. Let us select our words with care and may they be sweet so when we do have to "eat" them, it won't be as sour.
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five years. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, six sons-in-law, a daughter-in-law, nine grandsons and six granddaughters. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].