Next Sunday, Sept. 11, is National Grandparents Day, established 43 years ago.
In a day when there is a "national" day for everything -- from ice cream to dogs to honey, this is one that should not be overlooked.
Human beings are social creatures and, unlike animals, mature relatively slowly, being raised in families where, ideally, they are loved, treasured, trained, taught and disciplined. The extended family, including grandparents, aunts, uncles and a myriad of cousins provides a microcosm of life, exposing children to many different personality types.
Grandparents Day is not just another excuse for greeting cards.
It was initiated by Marian McQuade of West Virginia. She and her husband had 15 children, 43 grandchildren, 10 great-grandchildren and one great-great-grandchild. They were married 60 years by the time of Mr. McQuade's death.
The early days of September mark several special occasions in our family -- my maternal grandparents' wedding anniversary and my grandfather's birthday are just two of them. As I marked those days, I tried to image Granddaddy as a quiet, 20-year-old young man, the youngest of a large family, as he married the love of this life, the 18-year-old girl who would become my grandmother and ultimately, GiGi, the great-grandmother of my children. By the time of his death, they had been married 63 years. She outlived him by 19 years. Two of their three children provided them with six grandchildren who later provided them with 33 great-grandchildren and ultimately 27 great-great-grandchildren. Their influence is felt still in each of these lives.
For McQuade, establishing a Grandparents Day had three purposes:
1. To honor grandparents.
2. To give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children's children.
3. To help children become aware of the strength, information and guidance older people can offer.
In 1979, President Jimmy Carter proclaimed the first Sunday after Labor Day each year as National Grandparents Day (September was chosen to signify the "autumn" years of life). In part, the proclamation reads:
"Grandparents are our continuing tie to the near-past, to the events and beliefs and experiences that so strongly affect our lives and the world around us. Whether they are our own or surrogate grandparents who fill some of the gaps in our mobile society, our senior generation also provides our society a link to our national heritage and traditions.
"We all know grandparents whose values transcend passing fads and pressures, and who possess the wisdom of distilled pain and joy. Because they are usually free to love and guide and befriend the young without having to take daily responsibility for them, they can often reach out past pride and fear of failure and close the space between generations."
When one thinks of a grandparent, often the image of gray hair, wrinkles and slow pace comes to mind, but the essence of being a grandparent isn't in the external appearance, but in the internal graces honed over decades of living.
Poet John Donne wrote: "No spring, nor summer hath such grace. As I have seen in one autumnal face."
Other interesting quotes about grandparents include:
"Everyone needs to have access both to grandparents and grandchildren in order to be a full human being." (Margaret Mead)
"There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson." (Victor Hugo)
"The old are the precious gem in the center of the household." (Chinese proverb)
"Grandparents can be very special resources. Just being close to them reassures a child, without words, about change and continuity, about what went before and what will come after." (Fred Rogers)
Scripture speaks of the elder generation influencing the younger as in:
"Children's children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children." Proverbs 17:6
"But from everlasting to everlasting the Lords love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children's children." Psalm 103:17
"I am reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also." (2 Timothy 1:5)
"One generation commends your works to another; they tell of your mighty acts." (Psalm 145:4)
I was privileged to know and spend a great deal of time with my grandparents and my great-grandmother. And, now, I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren. I have more awareness of my grandmother as a person as I wonder how she felt at my age.
This weekend, may we all slow down and communicate love and appreciation to our elder generation and thank them for their devotion to helping us become the adults, the parents we are today.
A poem shared by Dr. James Dobson, entitled "Where have all the grandma's gone" states the modern state of grandmothers.
"In the dim and distant past
when life's tempo wasn't fast
Grandma used to rock and knit
crochet tat and baby-sit
"When the kids were in a jam
they could always count on Gram
In the age of gracious living
grandma was the gal for giving
"Grandma now is in the gym
exercising to keep slim.
She's out touring with the bunch
taking clients out to lunch.
"Driving north to ski or curl
all her days are in a whirl.
Nothing seems to stop or block her
now that Grandma's off her rocker."
~ anonymous
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five years. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].