OPINION: Parenting is character building for the adults

The sun has risen high enough that a brilliant yellow light is illuminating portions of the play house and garden. A robin is singing "Good morning" and the day is beginning. It's a gorgeous morning. The autumn season has begun.

As we find ways to spend more time together, maybe we should work on improving our gratitude attitudes.

We're getting a respite from the drought with the rain early this week. Odd how many people complain about the weather. We've been suffering a drought and the water table is very low. The rain was desperately needed, but some people complained because it interrupted their plans for recreation or work.

It would be interesting to see what would happen if everyone would "fast" from complaining and negativity for 24 hours. The person who says the glass is half full is as correct as the person who says it's half empty. Maybe we should focus on the positive side of things.

"Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are," Malcolm S. Forbes said.

Years ago, a young man said too often he compares his weaknesses with other people's strengths.

We see someone else doing or having or being something we admire and set our hearts on that. We envy. We don't call it that, but we do when we long for what another is or has.

"For we dare not ... compare ourselves with some that commend (praise) themselves, but they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise," the Apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians centuries ago. (2 Cor. 10:12)

Human nature hasn't changed much despite the technological advances.

As parents, we have a incredible opportunity, privilege, responsibility to mold tomorrow's adults. To edify them, we must be at peace with ourselves. When we feel like a failure, when we're always looking at others envying their accomplishments, we're not at peace with ourselves and are therefore, ungrateful for what we have. We may push our children to achieve what we believe we've failed to accomplish, not truly seeing them for who they were created to be.

"Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself," is listed as the second "great" commandment when Jesus condensed the 10 commandments into two: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment." (Matthew 22:36-40)

Is our child, our spouse not our neighbor?

Every person is a unique gift from God and has been designed for a special purpose. We must each find our own and must help our children discover their unique talents and abilities. Never compare your child to another person.

For a quiet parent, the outspoken child may be a challenge. For the outgoing parent, the shy, introspective child may bring moments of embarrassment. It behooves us as parents to remember that this parenting business is not about us!

Parent is about unselfishly loving, guiding, counseling, edifying young people to learn self-restraint, self-denial, patience, love, generosity, creativity, responsibility.

A wise friend once said: "Parenting is for the edification of the parents. The children can be edified when they become parents."

Although she said it tongue in cheek, it's terribly true. I learn more every day as I parent and it sometimes hurts. Just about the time I believe I've got this denying myself thing down and unselfishly serve others, I get my feelings hurt and display that I'm still too full of myself.

It's a constant challenge, but one worth the effort and beneficial for ourselves and those with whom we interact.

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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five years. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].