"The days are long but the years are short."
One doesn't fully appreciate that adage until most of one's days are behind.
My "baby," the youngest of nine, turned 20 this week.
It seems it was just yesterday when I was celebrating the birth of my first born, the days of each of my nine children turning 10, then becoming teens, then adults. Now, most are married, many are parents, and all are adults. Three grandchildren are in double digits in age.
My youngest child shares his birthday with two of my granddaughters. We spent his 10th birthday sitting in a hospital waiting room in southeast Missouri and then welcomed my first granddaughter (third grandchild)! Three years later, a second granddaughter (sister to the first and eighth grandchild) was born.
Birthdays, holidays prompt reflection, remembrance of the origin of those celebrations and reflection over the years since that origin.
It's a new day with a new role to fulfill. Praying I do it with grace and to the glory of God.
For years, I remember hearing people say that grandparenting was much more fun than parenting. I truly didn't understand that and, at least internally, argued that I enjoyed my children and couldn't imagine enjoying my grandchildren more.
I was wrong.
(Yes, I was wrong and have been far more often than I'd like to admit.)
There is something tremendously different about grandparenting than parenting. Possibly it's the perspective of decades of life with its trials and joys or the lessening of pressure to be perfect since we finally realize we can't be regardless of how hard we try. It may be that we've released the foolish attempt of trying to live up to other people's expectations. And, certainly, it's knowing that our main responsibility is to love and gently guide these wee souls and leave the parenting to the parents.
There's room for discipling, for guiding, for setting an example, but it's far more covert than overt and it's with a great awareness that many of the valuable character lessons will be learned over a longer period of time than we recognized when we were the parents and were trying to mold our own children.
So, as I begin to walk in the footsteps of my own mother and grandmother and dear aunt, I consider the examples they set for me. I know of a few ladies who did not relish the role of being a grandmother and actually said they'd already raised their children and they were through with that. So, they set off on personal fulfillment projects with little time for the next generation.
Not at all diminishing that the second half-century of life can hold great times for different projects and lessons and fulfillment, I would also remind both myself and others in this stage of life that all of the lessons learned heretofore are worthless if we're not passing them on. We're conduits, not just receiving pools. The lessons we learn, from success and failure, should be shared and used to help others along life's paths.
What a privilege we have to share our knowledge and experience with those who come behind and what greater gift than to have children of our children with whom to share those lessons.
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Editor's note: Annette Beard is the managing editor of The Times of Northeast Benton County, chosen the best small weekly newspaper in Arkansas for five years. A native of Louisiana, she moved to northwest Arkansas in 1980 to work for the Benton County Daily Record. She has nine children, six sons-in-law, a daughter-in-law, nine grandsons, five granddaughters and one more granddaughter due soon. The opinions expressed are those of the author. She can be reached at [email protected].